Fighting Battles

I know that the last million and one posts have been about books, but today is different.  This post really adheres to the reason behind the blog title, This Is Me.

We all deal with crap.  Crap that happened in our past, present crap, dog crap and otherwise.  There are days when I feel as though I am walking as the overcomer and the warrior daughter that God has created me to be, but then there are days and situations that take me back to a place that I have worked so hard to get away from.  As I sit staring out at the Atlantic Ocean during my first trip to Florida, I realize just how rough life can get.

The waves are crashing on the rocks because a storm off of the coast has stirred up them up.  The tide is high and the water is rough, but yet there is a peace in knowing and in seeing the power of God right in my face.  This has been the hardest, but also the most rewarding of years.  God has called me to trust Him in all things, but in doing that, I have had to face the struggles that still plague me.  The freaking enemy knows the exact moment when I am weak and tired and proceeds to slide the doubt, fears, and then I am right back to that teenager who doesn’t know her place.  She’s scared, hurt and doesn’t know who she can trust.  She fears being alone, yet she fears being around others.  She thinks that everyone either has an ulterior motive of will hurt her further.

As I feel these things that I haven’t felt in forever, I realize that I have not fully processed the feelings I had then.

But then, I am called back to the place I am now.  40 years old, following the calling that God has put on my life and learning how to be the woman that He created.  Learning to be healthy mind, body and soul.  So as I stand on the rocks and the water crashes in, I raise my arms up in the air and release it all to Him.  He releases the power, grace and every other gift inside of me for me to share with others.

Amen God!  Thank you for the work that needs to be done so that I can find peace, trust and rest in You

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s